“I resisted bullying and I do not like labels. In the present day I marry Riccardo, with him I understood who I’m »- Corriere.it

from Walter Veltronic

The journalist: «Round us quite a lot of affection and no morbidity. We have now been collectively for 15 years ». “If I had been to satisfy the 16-year-old, I might embrace and thank him. His struggling and his power had been the situation of the enjoyment I really feel now “

“We have been collectively for fifteen years† At a cocktail party a number of months in the past, Mara, our greatest buddy who’s celebrating right this moment, stated it will be good for us to get married. Riccardo instantly stated sure. He was delighted. I too was glad. Then, over the weekend, I acquired right into a disaster. I considered every thing round us, of the outer dimension of one thing that affected us so personally. Within the evenings, at residence, we talked, we argued, we bickered, we hugged and determined that sure, was the appropriate factor to do. In the present day we have fun a love that deserves a proper gown ».

I ask Alberto Matano to speak about his childhood in Catanzaro.

«The primary years I used to be very glad. My household was very harmonious. THE roles had been switched, between my father and my mom. Mom was a trainer, at all times very energetic on the associative, union degree. She was additionally the one feminine councilor within the Catanzaro Metropolis Council, representing the DC. He was not bodily at residence. Nevertheless it was at all times there. I bear in mind childhood as peaceable, glad days. However then the sky turned cloudy. Round age 14, I painfully realized that I used to be not rising. My buddies had been no less than eight inches taller than me. After which my room was locked, like a shelter from the world. As a result of exterior it appeared to me that it was the opposite means round. I suffered from bullying. They remoted me from the video games, they laughed at me, I felt on the sting of life. However I fought, I did not fold. I instructed myself I needed to do it. I discovered the power and all good that occurs to me is the son of that want to not endure. Within the third highschool, after a summer season, I grew up and have become what I’m right this moment ».

I feel Matano does not like tight definitions, fences, not even about his sexual selections.

“To start with I had a heterosexual life,,I had success with women. I broke up a love affair once I was 24. I understood that there was one thing else in me, that I needed to study myself, perceive myself. For ten years I’ve been stressed. I used to be in search of an adjunct, even an aggravated one. I assumed this gave me safety. Somebody succeeds. For me, then again, a closed id was shut by. A psychotherapist buddy of mine sooner or later instructed me concerning the psychosexual continuum as a degree the place every of us might be discovered, which isn’t the identical as anybody else’s. p.Riccardo arrived and every thing in my life stabilized. My stability was an individual, not an id ».

Let’s attempt to bear in mind his closed room.

“For me, fences in each space are the antithesis of freedom. I’ve come to grasp over time that in an effort to reassure themselves, individuals have to offer you a class, a pigeonhole, an belonging, sexual, political, even at work, and even assign to themselves. All that is reassuring, however it’s susceptible. In adolescence I needed to get out of a closed, oppressive setting. I hated stereotypes, I used to be a free spirit. The entire world was in my room. I would sit there and hearken to Sting, Tracy Chapman, Sade, David Bowie. And I learn. Orwell, Dickens after which the romantic poets like Keats, Shelley, Byron. My favourite was a Spencer poem that got here to thoughts as of late. It begins like this: “In the future I wrote his identify on the seaside,
However a wave got here and washed it away:
Once more I wrote with a second hand,
However the tide got here and preyed on my ache.”
However then it ends with: “My verses will make your uncommon virtues everlasting,
and I write thy wonderful identify within the heavens;
and when loss of life subdues the entire world,
Our love will dwell on and be renewed in life ”».

I ask him what it was like to inform his mother and father about this free quest.

“At first they had been shocked. I felt the necessity to share with them this work of mine. One evening I decided. I went residence, turned off the tv they had been watching and stated I wished to speak to them. My brothers knew and supported me. That evening was the important thing to my life. The turning level in my internal emotional life was once I instructed them how issues had been. It was not simple for them within the early hours to simply accept all this, I perceive. From then on they’ve at all times been by my aspect, at all times welcoming, supportive. Now Riccardo is seen because the fourth youngster. In the present day two issues actually make me glad: Riccardo’s gaze and the serene participation of my mother and father presently “.

Matano is struck by the love that folks he meets on the road or whoever writes on social media exhibits it to him. I feel it is the product of years of battle, principally from ladies and the LGBT neighborhood. Struggle these arduous partitions. Everlasting battle. However now I imagine that almost all of Italians, a rustic the place those that had been concurrently sixty-eight years previous, are far more mature and open right this moment than earlier than.

“Maybe the message of rejection of ghettoization and the try and affirm the normality of any sexual alternative will go. I detect no shock, no morbidity round my alternative and Riccardo’s. We’re overwhelmed by the love of people that perceive that we’re two souls who’ve sought and located one another. Two individuals who love one another. That is all. And it is stunning. I am going to inform you this. The day earlier than yesterday my mom obtained a name from an previous buddy of hers, a union activist like her, who instructed her: “I’m very impressed as a result of with this gesture your son continues our struggle”. His emotion and mine instructed me that every thing I’ve executed in my life, even this alternative, it’s the results of the local weather that’s breathed in that householdof the protected refuge I had, of the instance I had of those that are two respectable, easy, wholesome, open and in addition brave individuals ».

I ask him to recollect the second he determinedto reply after the blockade of the Zan regulation was greeted in parliament with absurd shows of enthusiasm.

“The subsequent day I used to be within the automobile, on my technique to work† I name Mirko, who’s my right-hand man, and I inform him: “In the present day we can’t assist however speak concerning the Zan regulation, we’re making ready a report on all of the circumstances of homophobia that we have now handled. Then I felt in me the necessity to do one thing, I had an earthquake inside. It appeared to me that Italy grew to become as closed as my room in Catanzaro. I made a decision to say some phrases. I knowledgeable my co-workers who had been applauding and this moved me. Then, on the finish of the capturing, I requested the director to border me and I stated, this time with anger, these phrases: “I have to inform you that every one this causes me nice sorrow, as a result of it occurred to me too, I’ve tried it on my pores and skin and I do know what it means. So I hope there is usually a complement of reflection from everybody on such an essential subject”. Nothing heroic, thoughts you. However I felt civic obligation to do this. And it was useful ».

I ask him to think about turning round in the course of the ceremony and see Alberto, a sixty-foot boy, among the many visitors. What would you inform him?

“I might hug him and thank him. His struggling and his power had been the important situation of my pleasure right this moment ».

June 11, 2022 (change June 11, 2022 | 07:10)

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